The Red Herring

Subscribe to our RSS feed!

Coffee On Campus: Where to Hook Up Your IV

Since Red Bull costs $2.99 a can, and cocaine costs $80 a gram, coffee is the stimulant of choice for the poor and rich alike. With my keen powers of observation, I have noticed that McGill students consume the black gold at a staggering pace, whether it be real black coffee or the increasingly [...]

I Just Really Don’t Want to be More of a Man Than You

I know a girl that dropped out of McGill because the dudes here just suck. I feel her, mostly because all I want in life is a filthy Irish man with huge arms and a herd of sheep. Either that, or a cowboy named Hal from Montana that has dirty fingers and an [...]

(se)X Files

Ladies, you’re in luck: it turns out David Duchovny has a sex addiction.
I know, I didn’t believe it at first either. It was such a pleasant surprise: sort of like unwrapping that oh-so-coveted Hot Wheels fire-truck on Christmas morning, except instead of a vehicle that stops things from burning, it’s more like a horrible [...]

A Trip Down Memory Lane

This is my first year back at McGill after a leave of absence. I took one year off, which somehow turned into half a decade. Coming back, I was worried I might not find the McGill I remembered. Maybe I wouldn’t feel at home here anymore because the vibe had changed too much, or because [...]

Peta Announces Lawsuit Against King of the Jungle

In a recent announcement made by a spokesperson of PETA, the major animal rights organization has decided to press charges against the king of the jungle, the lion. After a recent personnel change in the front office at PETA, Mr. Brawn, the new president, has decided that their animal rights efforts have not been extended [...]

Agalmatophilia is for Lovers (of Dolls)

I know I’m in desperate need of some sex because lately I’ve been checking out mannequins. The other night I stayed to the bitter end of a house party, not because I was having an absurd amount of fun, but because I was looking for a mate. It didn’t work out, and I ended up [...]

Black Monday

If you’re anything like me (you are), Monday the 29th of September must’ve caught you well on the marsh hog’s side of flabbergastery. I refer, of course, to the Congress of the United States roundly refusing to let Secretary of the Treasury Henry Paulson shoot gobs of hot, steaming money into the waiting mouth of [...]

A History of Violence

My prostration before the altar of violence started young, very young. Certainly a touch of bloodlust in male youth is not uncommon. But you must understand that I used to lie awake at night, trembling in exaltation. Why? Because the Power Rangers were so fucking awesome. The fervour that gripped me was [...]

The Other End of Onstar

Anybody who knows me (and that’s not a lot of people because I don’t have many friends), knows that there are three things I really hate: One, people; two, talking; and three, talking to people. So it may come as some surprise that for my summer job I elected to apply at, and get, a [...]